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Joke of the Day

"Yo, Hillary, I'm really happy for you, and I'ma let you finish... ...but the World Trade Centre had one of the best collapses of all time! One of the best collapses of all time!"

"Why did the Afgahni get burnt lips? Because he tried to blow up a bus."

"Don't regret past mistakes. All of your decisions, good and bad, led you to where you are today. Disregard this if you are in prison."

"Star Wars (1977): A wounded warrior overcomes severe burn injuries to build a massive empire only to see his estranged son destroy it."

"What do you call a 5 year old's knees? Kidneys! Ha! I'll be here all week folks."

"Did you hear about that kid that had sex with his teacher? Yeah, he recently died from hi-fiving."

"Met a beautiful girl down at the park today.. Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex right there and then. God, I love my new Taser..."

"""If you like Google Glass, also try Bing Chewables."""

"E-cigs are fedoras for your mouth"

"Politicians are like diapers.... They must be changed often and for the same reason."