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Joke of the Day

"My mom just got me off of work early. I love when she comes by the office. *Literally just happened"

Next Joke
 
"I've forgotten how to ""hang out"" with people if alcohol isn't involved."
"Why'd the toilet feel abused? Because it took a lot of shit."
"I lost my mood ring last night... I'm not sure how I feel about that"
"Why doesn't r/jokes like fencers? Because they always riposte."
"So I heard Tiger Woods changed his name.. To Cheetah"
"Daughter: Why don't kids at school get my sarcastic humor? Me: Because they have boring parents, darling."
"What do Mexican Zombies eat? Re-fried brains."
"Discovered that my wife can talk to me THROUGH THE SPEAKERS OF MY NEW CAR so I'm returning it."
"*Makes sure the new girl at work sees how much pineapple I eat at lunch* *winks*"