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Joke of the Day

"I hate when people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years I don't have 2020 vision"

"A rabbi and a priest walk past a burning orphanage the rabbi says to the priest should we save the children? The priest responds ""nah fuck them"" the rabbi replies do we have time"

"My friend told me I'm delusional. I almost fell of my rhino..."

"Do I hate when people answer their own questions? Yes."

"A Burglar got into the house of a Lawyer the other day... After a terrible struggle, the Lawyer succeeded in robbing him."

"""Don't kill it!"" my friend pleaded for a spider's life inside. So I carefully trapped it in a cup, brought it outside, then stomped on it."

"""Can you believe I got something decent at a piece of shit store like Sears?"" - every Sears commercial"

"Your mama's so fat She needs to use [Terashare](http://terashare.net)"

"I had a turd the other day that looked exactly like George Bush. I shit you not! (It even tried to declare war on me)"

"Apple Products My friend asked me why I don't like Apple products. Told her that the cables remind me of my ex-gf, white and kink-free."