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Joke of the Day

"*buys 8 first class tickets, fills all of them with infants and toddlers* Me, from way back in coach: *cups hands* SUCK IT RICH PEOPLE"

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"What does Saddam Hussein and little Miss Moffat have in common? They both had curds/Kurds in their whey/way!"
"a priest and a rabbi are sitting on a park bench... the priest sees some kids playing nearby. he leans over to the rabbi points and says ""how about we screw them"" the rabbi says ""out of what?"""
"I like my tautologies like I like my tautologies."
"Sitting with Grandma at the hospital. She noticed me checking my watch and said, ""Go on Dummy. I know brunch is almost over at the tit bar."""
"Why do demons love apostrophes? They show possession."
"Q: What is Iraq's national bird? A: Duck."
"Why don't lamps talk? They're antisocial lights."
"Did you hear the one about the dyslexic insomniac agnostic? He would lie awake all night wondering if there was a dog."
"Cheetah is not the fastest animal on the earth. If a cheetah runs after you, You will run faster."
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