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Joke of the Day

"Sitting with Grandma at the hospital. She noticed me checking my watch and said, ""Go on Dummy. I know brunch is almost over at the tit bar."""

"Before seeing why your toddler has been quiet for 10 mins it's best to first call the plumber and write your apology letter to the landlord."

"Some people have 32 teeth. Others have 10. It's simple meth."

"There are only 1,300 subscribers to the new Fappening sub after the ban. The other 100,000 came and left."

"What did the blonde's left leg say to the right leg? ""Between us, I think we can make a lot of money!"""

"What is Kim Kardashian's favorite hockey team? The Chicago Blackhawks"

"I gave my 1yo a chocolate covered raisin. He chewed, paused, then gave me a look that told me he will never trust another human being again."

"If I take a bite of your food at a restaurant and your food is better than my food, just be aware that our relationship is now in danger"

"Three Russians walk into a bar Just kidding. They never left."

"What was the name of the gay World War II themed porn film starring Charlie Chaplin as Adolf Hitler? The Great Dick Taker"