210107

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the one about the dyslexic insomniac agnostic? He would lie awake all night wondering if there was a dog."

"Is it ""raymen"" noodles or ""rawmun"" noodles? I don't wanna sound stupid when asking the gas station clerk for a wine to complement my dinner."

"What's the difference between a white Jew and a black Jew? Black Jews have to get in the back of the oven."

"Took my girlfriend to a baseball game this last season We made a deal in the beginning. I kiss her on every strike and she kisses me on the balls."

"Whats the difference between men in the Military and Cops Military only beat their wives part of the year."

"These Jehovah's Witnesses are getting creative. They are now knocking on my door dressed as cops saying they have a warrant."

"CALL AN AMBULANCE!? NO WAY! that old lady is DEFINITELY unconscious. here, go start my car. I'm gonna go wipe the prints off our frisbee."

"[At the ferret store] I'll take five of those furry slinkys"

"I have a tip for all you lonely ladies on valentine's day.. Or you can just take the whole thing."

"I scream. You scream. We all scream. I'm not supposed to be at this slumber party."