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Joke of the Day

"What does Mr. Miyagi do while Daniel-san waxes the car? He wax off."

"I just want a man who can lick the crumbs from the bottom of a Pringles tube."

"What's a prisoner's favorite punctuation mark? A period because it marks the end of his sentence."

"I use Facebook mostly to keep in touch (without leaving the house) with people whom I do not wish the share my cell number with..."

"I was helping a Spanish guy load things in his car and he kept calling me names every time I did something nice. Everytime I helped him he called me a grassy-ass."

"My friend David lost his ID Now we just call him Dave"

"Everyone suffering from diseases and natural disasters: hang in there, we're liking Facebook posts as fast as we can"

"Conjecture: At some point in 2013, our neighbors will get so high that they accidentally sell their own weed. For weed money. To buy weed."

"In the time it took me to RT in Favstar I could have written the tweet in calligraphy and hand delivered it to all 7600 of my followers."

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasaurass"