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Joke of the Day

"Ferguson PD plans on removing all German Shepard k-9 units Turns out Germans aren't the problem. They're going to replace them with coon dogs"

"Did you hear about that hippie superhero who could make tulips and daffodils grow just by sprinkling baking ingredients on them? He said it was his self raising flour power."

"What do you call a 45 pound Ethiopian? Fat."

"[texting] me: I just left and I already miss you wife *typing response* me: (can you read that to the dog for me)"

"What did the cannibal say after he ate a woman in the Coliseum? He's gladiator."

"Listening to my coworker cry about her gag reflex not being able to swallow her allergy pills.. All I keep thinking is: Her poor boyfriend.."

"Online Dating is like Online gaming. The Grind is real."

"Professor X can move anything with his mind... except his legs."

"What do you call a fish with no eyes ? Fish !"

"A guy walks into a bar... The real joke is in the comments."