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Joke of the Day

"[texting] me: I just left and I already miss you wife *typing response* me: (can you read that to the dog for me)"

"Alien vs Predator upheld by Supreme Court. ""this movie rules"" said Justice Scalia writing for the court."

"British sense of humour"

"I wish 1992 Dr. Dre would come back from the past and beat the shit out of 2012 Dr. Dre for charging 300 bucks for a pair of headphones."

"the biggest joke of all time Trump"

"All the autotune in the world still doesn't sound as cool as talking into a desk fan."

"How do Russians drive to Alaska? By bearing straight"

"Eventually the entire written English language will be taken over by emoticons. Teenage girls will bring us back to Egyptian hieroglyphs."

"Can't believe Sting isn't the lead singer of the Scorpions"

"My lucky number is 17 so I'm really hoping that 2017 is finally going to be my year. Otherwise, I'll have to change my lucky number again."