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Joke of the Day

"A pony walks into a bar and in a soft and raspy voice says to the bartender, Gimme a beer. The bartender says, Sure buddy, sounds like you got a cough. The pony replies, I'm a little hoarse."

"Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life."

"In my spare time I like to read, write, and fall in love with unavailable people."

"My proctologist gave me two thumbs up. Which I did not appreciate."

"Wife And Husband Wife: ""I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"" Husband: ""You have perfect eyesight."""

"What do you call an Eskimo optometrist? ...An optical Aleutian. I actually made this one up. But if someone else said it first, I wouldn't be surprised."

"People are saying that the Kardashians think Khloe's new boyfriend doesn't love her. They think he's simply using her to be famous or as they put it, ""Welcome to the family."""

"I told a psychiatric ward patient to stand in the middle of two black poles ... and he did it ! The absolute madman!"

"Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Elvis? A: Elvis was drafted and served proudly in the Army."

"Honestly some folk will take offense at anything. I met a bloke with no legs this morning at the Bus Stop. All I asked was ""How you getting on?"""