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Joke of the Day

"Took me forever to find this chronology book. It's about time."

"What does have eyes but can't see, has legs but can't walk, and has wings but can't fly? A dead bird."

"If you date someone working for the federal government and then break up, does he become FedEx? #oksorry"

"What do you call a fat Asian? moo-lan"

"Wife sneezed... ... and told me she was allergic to my hotness. My response: so do you break out in sex?"

"I did really well in my math class My professor said I was on the top of the bell curve."

"Facebook has become the girlfriend you no longer like but are scared to dump"

"Royal flushes aren't very common. The Queen's homes must stink."

"I'm going to stand outside... So if anyone asks, I am outstanding."

"VIAGRA BASAL SPRAY VIAGRA ANNOUNCED A NASAL SPRAY VERSION. WILL THAT TURN GUYS INTO DICKHEADS"