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Joke of the Day

"If you date someone working for the federal government and then break up, does he become FedEx? #oksorry"

"I'm 27, my BF is 37. Is 10 years too much of an age gap? 'cause his son is 17 and really hot."

"Before you criticize someone... walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away and have their shoes."

"Last supper *at the last supper* *Jesus breaks bread* this is my body *pours wine* this is my blood *opens jar of mayo* Judas: I'm just going to stop you right there...."

"What does Barack Obama call illegal aliens? Undocumented Democrats."

"You left a note on the fridge saying ""This isn't working. Goodbye"" but I opened it and it was working perfectly well. I don't get it."

"The worktops in my kitchen were put in by a professional counter-fitter... Turns out they were fake."

"What do magistrates have with their water? Just ice."

"How many reddit users did it take to screw on a light bulb? They could not do it, they are all autistic."

"What did the lighter color shade tell to its dark lover? I want hue."