52126

Joke of the Day

"What does have eyes but can't see, has legs but can't walk, and has wings but can't fly? A dead bird."

Next Joke
 
"Can Norwegians make a documentary about anything other than the Kon Tiki?"
"Dad joke I just had with my girlfriend GF: *sigh GF: *sigh GF: *sigh Me: That's like 3 sighs in 30 seconds. GF: And they all probably meant different things. Me: I guess I need to know sigh language."
"6: can i have ice cream? Me: ur room clean? 6: if I clean it can I have ice cream? M: sure 6:*looks at room* thats ok I dont need ice cream"
"Does anyone know how to change the batteries in a dead kitten? Please help."
"What's the square root of 69? It's 8 something right?"
"When I order pizza online, in the ""Special Instructions for the Driver"" box, I put ""Tell me I'm a pretty princess"". And they do. And I am."
"What's long, hard, and has cum in it? A cucumber. edit: words"
"Son: Dad can sand melt? Me putting down my glass: Don't be ridiculous of course it can't"
"Punctuation can really change a sentence. For example, ""Let's eat kids"" becomes ""Let's eat punctuation""."