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Joke of the Day

"ME: Siri listen very carefully. I need you to quietly dial 911, and... SIRI: I HAVE FOUND TWO RESTAURANTS WITHIN 5 MILES OF YOUR LOCATION."

"When the lumberjacks sawed down the tree where did the Gorilla hiding in the uppermost branches land? Nearby - the Ape-lle doesn't fall far from the tree!"

"What does a quantum physicist tell their toddler who keeps asking ""Why"" over and over? ""Because I saw so."""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Briony ! Briony who ? Briony beautiful sea !"

"A friend of mine got caught masturbating in the showers. It completely ruined our class trip to Auschwitz."

"Joke stealing is not a laughing matter That's why I don't steal unfunny jokes."

"What do you call an atheist who no longer worships the Flying Spaghetti Monster? A-pasta-ate."

"""what do we want?"" ""faster Internet!"" ""when do we want it?"". Loading..."

"How do you stop hearing jokes written for 12 year olds? Unsubscribe from r/jokes!"

"So, I have a black girlfriend now Burnt the shit out of my hand on the stove..."