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Joke of the Day

"ME: Siri listen very carefully. I need you to quietly dial 911, and... SIRI: I HAVE FOUND TWO RESTAURANTS WITHIN 5 MILES OF YOUR LOCATION."

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"When the lumberjacks sawed down the tree where did the Gorilla hiding in the uppermost branches land? Nearby - the Ape-lle doesn't fall far from the tree!"
"What does a quantum physicist tell their toddler who keeps asking ""Why"" over and over? ""Because I saw so."""
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Briony ! Briony who ? Briony beautiful sea !"
"A friend of mine got caught masturbating in the showers. It completely ruined our class trip to Auschwitz."
"Joke stealing is not a laughing matter That's why I don't steal unfunny jokes."
"What do you call an atheist who no longer worships the Flying Spaghetti Monster? A-pasta-ate."
"""what do we want?"" ""faster Internet!"" ""when do we want it?"". Loading..."
"How do you stop hearing jokes written for 12 year olds? Unsubscribe from r/jokes!"
"So, I have a black girlfriend now Burnt the shit out of my hand on the stove..."