28339

Joke of the Day

"""God's last name is not Dammit."" Unknown"

"What do you call patriotic pubes? A Merkin."

"At a business meeting: ""How about SuperCupid?"" ""No, expectations will be too high"" ""GreatCupid?"" ""Lower"" ""Uhhh, OKCupid?"" ""Brilliant"""

"How is making cheese like invading Syria? You get some Kurds in the way."

"Keep your friends close and your enemies under the front wheels of your vehicle."

"How to Get a Girlfriend: Out at Sea Me: *rocks boat* Her: Hey! Me: *rocks faster* Her: Can we PLEASE go steady? Me: I do."

"BRAIN: you need to let loose a little, have some fun ME: rainbow colored goldfish crackers it is"

"I've never understood people who don't drink because it's ""bad for you"" Honestly, I think they should lighten up and liver little."

"A woman walks into a bar... ""Ouch!"" she yelled."

"Earlier today, I made up a joke to tell you guys, but um... tsh."