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Joke of the Day

"How is making cheese like invading Syria? You get some Kurds in the way."

"Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony; he stuck a feather in his hat, and called it macaroni... That folks, is what drugs do to you."

"Before you decide to become an atheist try dipping an Oreo in Nutella once"

"I was going down on a quadriplegic.... When all of a sudden I tasted horse cum and thought, ""oh Grandma.... so THAT'S how you died."""

"What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. It just waved"

"How does a sociopath say goodbye? Manip-ya-later!"

"The closest I've come to working out in the last month has been a double sneeze. And I hurt my neck."

"Possible Fact: If you suffer with freezing cold hands, you are contractually obliged to test their temperature by putting them on people."

"Mad at your man? Five minutes before he gets home, turn on ""Pitch Perfect"" then hide the remote in the dishwasher."

"What's a pirate's favourite letter? You'd think ""R"", but his first love be the ""C""."