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Joke of the Day
"What do you call patriotic pubes? A Merkin."
Next Joke
"Saw a friend really drunk last night so I took his car keys from him. Felt good, he was so drunk I doubt he remembers who stole his car"
"My mom wants 3-D eye surgery to see 3-D movies without glasses. I told her they don't exist. She doesn't care. Operation's next Tuesday."
"If you want my opinion ask my wife"
"what part of the alphabet is the wettest? H to O"
"My wife asked what I thought of her new blouse and I used the word ""slimming"", I explain to the other homeless people."
"[1st date] Maybe next time i could meet your dog [2nd date] Your dog is so cool [3rd date] Do u mind if me & your dog hung out without you"
"This is probably a controversial take but I think the sanitation worker responsible for garbage collection on Sesame Street should be fired."
"What's the difference between a Toronto Maple Leafs fan and a 14-year old girl? Nothing. They are both just waiting for the first period to be over."
"The best part of Robocop is when they spent billions of dollars making a cyborg super soldier instead of helping Detroit not be awful."