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Joke of the Day
"I had sex for an hour and 45 seconds last night. Thanks daylight savings!"
Next Joke
"My cat and I have lots in common like how we both cry when we're hungry and both put our ass in the air when it's being rubbed."
"What do you name an African tech startup? Double Click! (Okay, Khoisan only.)"
"Wife: We don't have anything planned today... Me: Cool! Wife: ...so I was thinking we should... Me: (dammit)"
"Why couldn't the NSA whistleblower leave Moscow? He got snowed in."
"When someone asks you to give an example of an idiom Just tell them you can't recall any from the top of your head."
"Did anyone see Bob Costas' double pink eye while watching the Olympics? I heard he got it from Putin."
"Once a marine, always a marine. Even if you're now working at Subway. You're a submarine."
"The neighbors love it when I practice piano. They break my window to hear me better."
"What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza can have meat and cheese."