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Joke of the Day

"One sperm says to another... ""Hey, which way to the egg?"" The other sperm replies, ""I'm not sure, but we just passed the tonsils."""

"Astronomers got tired of watching the moon go round the earth for 24 hours, so they called it a day. I'm sorry. Edit: FFS guys it's a ruddy joke. It doesn't have to be scientifically accurate"

"If you see me smiling it's because I'm thinking of doing something evil or naughty. If you see me laughing it's because I've already done it."

"What did the one melon say to the other melon? We're too young to marry. We cantaloupe."

"Why are ducks funny? Cause they be quacking jokes"

"Why is the Canadian school system broken because they only give out ehs"

"FYI: If someone says ""I'm game,"" you can legally shoot them. You should probably check your state and local hunting regulations though."

"Funny one liners - 2016 Tell me short funny one liners. Just humor, nothing else."

"Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says to the other, ""Oh boy, it sure is hot in here!"" The other says, **""OH MY GOSH IT'S A TALKING MUFFIN""**"

"What's the difference between a terrorist and a civilian? I don't know man, I just fly the drones."