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Joke of the Day

"The guy who invented throat lozenges died last week. There was no coffin at the funeral"

"Don't walk through a field of mushrooms It's quite a tripping hazard."

"(My 3 favorite things are) My 3 favorite things are chicken pot pie. Doesn't even have to be in that order."

"Why is the alcoholic law student sad? Because he couldn't pass the bar."

"What do pink flamingos have on their front lawns? Plastic Italians."

"One did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek? The hallway stinks."

"Twat did you say? I cunt hear you - scum again."

"I heard that Ireland is the richest country in the world.... Its capital has been Dublin for over a hundred years now."

"Genetically modified fruit never ceases to amaze me. Check out this unnaturally large melon. Ah, it's not a melon. It's a grape."

"Pizza delivery guy showed up. Gave me 3 pizzas, and had me sign the credit card receipt. I gave him a $500 tip. I didn't order any pizza."