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Joke of the Day
"Twat did you say? I cunt hear you - scum again."
Next Joke
"What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment."
"Fox News has determined the cause of the recent plane crash. It was the left wing."
"Apparently beer contains female hormones. After you drink enough you can neither drive nor shut the hell up."
"It's almost Christmas, which means it's almost time to hear my parents' new excuses for why Jennifer Lawrence isn't under the tree again."
"What I know about you has earned my attention. What I don't know about you is what makes you interesting."
"I like my women like I I like my coffee.. Ground up and in the freezer."
"My son claims he ""loves me,"" but the contents with which he fills diapers he KNOWS I'LL BE CHANGING suggests otherwise."
"Malaria kills a child every two seconds in Africa... Somebody should arrest that guy."
"Why do brits have sex more than any other nationality? Because with Cameron in charge they're always going to be fucked."