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Joke of the Day

"Genetically modified fruit never ceases to amaze me. Check out this unnaturally large melon. Ah, it's not a melon. It's a grape."

"*makes sure kids are asleep* *walks out to car* *slowly unwraps candy bar* *hears knock on window* *puts head down* *hands it to them*"

"My friend called the movie Pixels the world's longest abortion Funny, I didn't realize it was a porno."

"I'm bored I think I'll go to the mall, find a really good parking spot and sit there with my reverse lights on."

"How many dragon ball characters does it take to change a light bulb ? Only one... but it will take a few episodes. ~~The lightbulb saga~~"

"Werner Heisenberg's epitaph: Here lies Heisenberg. ^^^?"

"Many English names are derived from occupations, like Fletcher (arrow maker), Cooper (barrel maker), or Cunningham (tricky pig)."

"Bad news: I just stepped on the cat. Even worse news: I think I just created a Nicki Minaj song."

"At first I didn't like my new haircut But it's starting to grow on me"

"Did you hear about the man who got the left side of his body blown up? he's all right"