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Joke of the Day

"Kylo Ren and Supreme Leader Snoke go to a restaurant. Why did Snoke get his meal before Kylo Ren? Because he made the First Order!"

"Got into an argument with a cripple and won. He didn't have a leg to stand on."

"A teenage boy asks his granny: 'Have you seen my pills, they are labelled LSD? Granny: ""Fuck the pills; have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?"""

"H: I think we should see other people. Me: Do I have to? I don't even really want to see you."

"There are no bad pictures; that's just how your face looks sometimes."

"I picked up an ice cream cake & the cashier said keep it in the freezer until serving so it doesn't melt. I've got to start dressing smarter"

"How many Americans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None. Their President outsources the job to India."

"How do you cancel your appointment at the spermicides bank? You call and say you can't cum. Edit:typo"

"Q. What is the best way to get to Paradise? A. Turn right and go straight."

"""Dear NASA... ...Your mom thought I was big enough"" -Pluto"