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Joke of the Day

"The best thing about hand sanitizer in hospitals isn't the hygiene. It's everyone walking around like they're hatching an evil plan."

"Oldest boy band in the world One erection"

"I hate insects puns, they really bug me."

"The secret to becoming a millionaire... Is by being a billionaire, then starting an airline."

"Funny how shampoo bottles weigh like, 2 pounds in real life, but when dropped in the shower they turn into a meteor."

"Great Insults A letter from teacher to parent:Dear parent,Kamal doesn't smel nice in class.Please try to bathe him.Parent answer:Dear teacher,Kamal is not a rose.Don't smell him.Teach him."

"Cop: Are you drunk? Me: Could a drunk person do this? *I just piss my pants* Cop: WOW. Yes actually. Me: That was supposed to be a backflip"

"How do you say goodbye to German cheese? Velveetazane"

"I wanted to eat lunch at KFC and my girlfriend wanted to eat lunch at Chick-Fil-A... we compromised and went to Chick-Fil-A."

"I kept getting my shin badly grazed by the pedal of my bike when I was was a kid, that was one vicious cycle."