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Joke of the Day

"Funny how shampoo bottles weigh like, 2 pounds in real life, but when dropped in the shower they turn into a meteor."

"Any room is a panic room if you've lost your phone in it."

"What do Buddhists eat to help keep themselves balanced both physically and spiritually? Cottage chi"

"How many black people does it take to shingle a roof?? One....but you gotta slice him reeeeeaaaalllllll thinnnnnnnnnnnnn....."

"A man goes to a barber shop... ""How much for a haircut?"" ""$20"" answers the barber. ""What about shaving?"" ""$10"" ""Okay, shave my head, please."""

"What's the difference between a divorce and a circumcision? With a divorce you get rid of the whole dick."

"A terrorist Walks into a Pet store A terrorist walks into a pet store and shouts ""Run away you only have 10 seconds before I blow this place up!"" ""You Bastard!"" The Turtle says"

"My favorite here lately.... Helen Keller walks into a bar. And then a table. And then a chair...."

"Wearing transition lenses is a great way to block out the sun & anyone from wanting to be friends with you."

"Is that a noose necklace? That's knot cool."