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Joke of the Day

"Funny how shampoo bottles weigh like, 2 pounds in real life, but when dropped in the shower they turn into a meteor."

"What do epidemiologists do? How about kinesiologists? Study epidemies....and kinesies."

"Why cant programmers tell the difference between christmas and thanksgiving? Because oct 31 = dec 25"

"Why do girls never travel in odd numbers? Because they can't even."

"Michelle Obama gave a great speech last night I can't wait to hear it again at the next Republican National Convention."

"What is brown and screams? Stevie Wonder when he answers the iron."

"To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked pizza. Then I made tacos because they don't live in a swing state."

"What's the difference between Jews and Santa? Santa goes down the chimney."

"Investment I still wonder if my parents knew humans are not much good of an investment"

"What does a dominatrix say when she's late? ""Sorry I tied you up"""