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Joke of the Day

"BAD: When your date has been in the Men's Room for 45 mins. WORSE: When the 6 yo girl at the table next to you says ""he's not coming back"""

"I'm planning to adopt a dog soon, it wasn't my first choice but my doctor told me I can't have any biologically."

"How long does it take to drive across France? 3 days by panzer"

"Did you dream of me, baby? -Are you a swimming pool full of Lucky Charms & milk? No, silly. -Then no."

"I just saved a bundle on future college tuition by finding out my 4 year old wants to be a gum ball when he grows up."

"What do you get when you have sex with an Alligator? Gatoraids"

"A giraffe walks into a bar, he sits and orders 6 martinis........ Shame on you for wanting a punchline. This giraffe needs help."

"COMPUTER: HINT: name of best friend ME: Jen C: Jen sounds nice M: Wh-what? C: Is Jen single? M: Uh... C: Answer the question. Is Jen single?"

"Why do they call me seven days? Because I'm weak."

"What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat!"