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Joke of the Day

"I love raccoons. Part cat. Part dog. Part rodent. Part bear. Little people hands. What's not to like?"

"RUN FOREST!!! RUN!!! But the trees just stood there. Frozen with fear. In the end, the flames consumed them all."

"Heard of the new gay website? It's colon, enter, pound, pound, pound."

"*drinks small coffee after 8pm* *spends rest of life on internet*"

"A girl next to me in the trai sneezed. Me: bless you She: I have a boyfriend A few rows behind us : I'm vegan"

"A robot walks into a bar, orders a drink, and lays down some cash. The bartender says, ""we don't serve robots."" The robot replies, ""oh, but some day you will."""

"If I was a bodybuilder I would slather up with grease and slide to work instead of driving to save money."

"Man and Women in Diffrent Combinations Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy"

"Just had a cup of coffee so bad it's the plot for a new Nicolas Cage movie."

"take me down to the paraphrase city where it's nice"