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Joke of the Day

"*drinks small coffee after 8pm* *spends rest of life on internet*"

"just unrolled my burrito & now I'm having pizza"

"Chuck Norris' pulse is measured on the richter scale."

"you call it the Irish Goodbye, I call it the I Never Wanted To Be Here In The First Place See You In Hell"

"That's it. The next time a relative asks me if I have a boyfriend, I'm going to say ""no, I'm just sleeping around""."

"Say what you want about the Make-a-Wish foundation At least they can work to a deadline"

"Why did the architect have his house made backwards? So he could watch the football"

"Turns out chiropractors aren't actually dinosaurs."

"Two part joke Q. How does an elephant hide in an apple tree? A. He paints his balls red. Q. What's the loudest sound in Africa? A. Giraffes eating apples."

"What do call having to settle for buying corn? Compra maize."