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Joke of the Day

"A girl next to me in the trai sneezed. Me: bless you She: I have a boyfriend A few rows behind us : I'm vegan"

"Summer body wasn't ready.. But winter body is good to go!"

"The reason Patrick is always clueless Is because he lives under a rock."

"What's black and found at the top of a stair case? Stephen Hawking after a house fire."

"Why don't bears wear socks? They have bear feet"

"Why did the cheeseburger fight the veggie burger? It had beef."

"Q: Bill Hillary and Al are in a boat. The boat sinks. Who is saved? A: The United States of America."

"The worst feeling ever is when you miss someone but you can't even tell them you miss them because they are alcohol."

"I've got 99 problems and 86 of them are completely made up scenarios in my head that I'm stressing about for absolutely no logical reason."

"I just feel like you shouldn't be using a selfie stick unless you're a T-Rex."