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Joke of the Day
"I called a suicide hotline today... they do NOT give the kind of advice I was looking for."
Next Joke
"I'm sorry, Black Lives Matter is actually a peaceful and forward thinking movement that our society needs... Now if you could all stop sending me death threats on twitter that would be great."
"What's gray squeaky and hangs around in caves ? Stalagmice !"
"What is grey and comes in quarts? an elephant."
"How warm is the inside of a Tauntaun? Lukewarm."
"What's the best thing about duct tape? It turns no, no, no into Mm, Mm, Mmmm"
"So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress you out?"
"Humans are so stupid! This is why aliens probe us. They think our brains are up our butts."
"Husband: Honey why are there broken condoms on the couch? Wife: Would you please call our children by their real names."
"*Moses opens tablet* You have TEN unread commandments."