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Joke of the Day

"What's the best thing about duct tape? It turns no, no, no into Mm, Mm, Mmmm"

"EU wants to congratulate US for their free healthcare.. .. because you did vote for Bernie didn't you?"

"Give a man a baby, and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to baby, and i think this saying only works for fish actually."

"Why did the console gamer cross the road To render the other side"

"What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the mud and crosses back over? A dirty double crosser."

"I could've sworn there was less grunting and moaning the last time I put these pants on... Maybe the donut in my mouth muffled it"

"Read aloud and quickly: ""One smart feller, he felt smart"" Freudian slip?"

"Well you can tell by the way I use my walk I'm incontinent No time to talk."

"*closes twitter* *opens up instagram* *scrolls* *scrolls* *closes instagram* *opens up twitter*"

"How much do you weigh after eating Chinese food? Wonton"