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Joke of the Day

"I found a great way to stop procrastinating! I'll tell you guys later."

"Did you know a falling cat ALWAYS lands in a single person's apartment?"

"George invited all his friends for a no-masturbation get-together They came within the hour."

"Kim Davis becoming a Republican, dealing a huge blow to the ""intolerant homophobic religious fundamentalist"" wing of the Democratic Party."

"I bought a vacant piece of land recently, and every night someone keeps depositing soil on the land. I still can't figure out who it is. The plot thickens."

"The US government is taking Samsung to court. They're being charged with a fault in battery."

"Before working to reunite the US he was known as Abram Lincoln."

"Turquoise is the best colour. It's been cyantifically proven."

"A fish with one eye... Was swimming along in a lake when he accidentally hit his head on a wall of concrete...and do you know what he said? Dam."

"My wife and I were shopping the other day, she said she needed a new pillow. I said ""That's a big decision, you should sleep on it."""