7417

Joke of the Day

"George invited all his friends for a no-masturbation get-together They came within the hour."

"My superpower is turning food and drink into larger pants."

"What's the best part about fucking 28 year olds? There's 20 of em'"

"BLACK AND BROWN Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A: A Doberman pinscher."

"""You ask."" ""No, you ask!"" ""Will you please ask?"" ""Why can't you ask?"" ""Fine... Hey my FRIEND wants to ask you something!"""

"I bought a laser pointer, but I don't have a cat. So I 'borrowed' my neighbor's toddler, but he doesn't seem to get it. Babies are stupid."

"If I had a nickel for every time I had a nickel I would just continue getting nickels until I had all the nickels."

"eer booze and fun!' 'Twenty-four hours in a day... twenty-four beers in a case... coincidence?"

"Poor Susie! Q: Why couldn't Susie ride the swings? A: Because she has no arms! Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie!"

"Our dog runs away so much, I'm just going to spray paint our phone number on her side."