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Joke of the Day

"A fish with one eye... Was swimming along in a lake when he accidentally hit his head on a wall of concrete...and do you know what he said? Dam."

"When a dog's stomach starts growling, it's either hungry, or pregnant."

"HONEST JOE'S DISCOUNT BREAST IMPLANT EMPORIUM. WHY PAY $6,000 FOR SILICON WHEN YOU CAN PAY $20 FOR WOOD"

"How do you know if someone went to Harvard? They tell you."

"s/o to the first person who saw a horse and was like ""YO i wanna sit on that thing and make it take me places"""

"If I could see 5 years into the future... would I still have 2020 vision?"

"A Jewish dad walks into a bar mitzvah. . edited to add the missing z"

"How did the Ethiopian escape prison? He squeezed through the bars."

"A dwarf, that happens to be a mystic, escapes from prison. The call went out that there was a small medium at large."

"I spent this past weekend baby-proofing my house... I'm not having a baby, but I hung up a bunch of anime posters to make sure that I never do."