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Joke of the Day

"Turquoise is the best colour. It's been cyantifically proven."

"Old people talk into cell phones like they hit the Caps Lock key on their voice."

"A friend of mine suggested I go see a psychic medium. Apparently, I needed an extra large."

"Hey man, settle an argument for me? ""Sure"" [handing him a sword] Great, he's just in there"

"Are you a rational function? because I could ride your asymptote to infinity."

"I love kids...But stop making me hold your baby. Why are you letting people touch your new born?!? I don't let people touch my new iPhone"

"If I could be any enzyme It would be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes."

"What's the difference between a Piano and a Fish? You can tune a piano but you can't Tuna Fish!"

"Why is my dog better than my girlfriend? I can throw her food on the floor, call her a bitch and she'll still play with my balls."

"Why are there so many cat photos online? Because Asians love to take a photo of their food before eating."