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Joke of the Day

"If you were arrested for masturbating on a plane... ....they would have to charge you with hi-jacking"

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A can't see-creature."

"Black people play 2k, then go to them gym and start trying to be like Kobe. White people play Call of Duty, then go to school and try to go on a 25-kill streak."

"When a guy thinks that older women are more into him than they actually are... Is it an example of the Dunning-Cougar effect?"

"*sits down in a classy as hell bar* ""barkeep! a bottle of your finest champagne please. I earn..."" *lowers shades* ""$200 every 4 months"""

"I'll rephrase the question, your honor. Sir, under whose custody did the dogs escape from?? And let me remind you that you're under oath"

"What's the difference between babies and cats People want to see pictures of your cat."

"How does Darts Vader eat spaghetti? With the force and knife."

"There was an explosion at the world's largest sprinkles factory earlier today. Fortunately there have been no fatalities, but the number of injured are reported to be in the hundreds and thousands."

"why is the bass player stuck outside? he doesn't know when to come in and can't find the right key anyway"