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Joke of the Day

"If Jesus played soccer, what position would he play? Not on the wing, he doesn't do well with crosses."

"I hate being Bipolar... It's awesome."

"I'm not racist I don't even separate my laundry"

"Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore..... A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband."

"What do we want? Time travel! When do we want it? Irrelevant."

"Poor old lady!! I saw a poor old lady fall unconscious in the snow today. Well I'm assuming she was poor, she only had 86p in her purse."

"Job interview -It says in your CV that you are quick at mathematics. Whats 19x17? -36 -Thats not even close!! -But it was quick."

"Dark humor is like a kid terminally ill with cancer It never gets old"

"I didn't know what I was missing until I dated a vampire. They always beg you to let them swallow."

"A chemist discovered a revolutionary new compound of technetium, sulfur, helium, and bismuth. It got him tons of BiTcHeS."