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Joke of the Day

"France declared war on al Qaida yesterday. Thank God, for someone needed to teach the terrorists how to surrender."

"Why did Night fall? Because Day tripped him."

"What do you call an overweight Mexican? A MAXican"

"Where do safari animals buy their groceries? From the supermeerkat"

"Should I Get In Trouble For Something I Didn't Do... Student: Should I get in trouble for something I didn't do? Teacher: No of course not! Student: Oh, OK great. I didn't do my homework..."

"Two guys are drinking in a bar... One says to the other, ""Did you know that elks have sex 10 to 15 times a day?"" ""Aww, shit!"" says his friend, ""and I just joined the Knights of Columbus!"""

"What's a cheese's favorite kind of drug? Amfetamines"

"Women are a lot like tennis rallies Occasionally, a back hand is needed to stay in control"

"Next time I see a dead deer on the side of the road, I'm gonna leave and come back dressed as Santa with a sign that says ""Help, need ride!"""

"The ""Lumos/Nox"" trick on Android phones is pretty neat. However... I'd advise the Galaxy Note 7 crowd to avoid ""Avada Kedavra."""