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Joke of the Day
"I hope I get a watch for Christmas! Because there's no present like the time."
Next Joke
"What did Zelda tell Link when he couldn't unlock the door? Triforce"
"What do my wife and a chest freezer have in common? The exterior is hot, but its cold as ice inside."
"Nick clegg themed toilets They're full of shit"
"I appreciate it when my cats stand around while I clean their litter box. We're like a little road crew: one guy works, three supervise."
"When the grammar nazi learned his friend had less than 6 months to live. *fewer"
"Holy shit you guys. Twitter works outside too."
"My mom wants a new cooking skillet for Christmas. I haven't got the dough, but oh well, we'll see how things pan out."
"Someone asked me today where I'll be in 5 years... Seriously? I'm wearing glasses, you know I don't have 2020 vision."
"Did you hear about the movie Constipation? It hasn't come out yet."