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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the movie Constipation? It hasn't come out yet."
Next Joke
"Sit down and let me tell you a story. Once Upon A Time......last night......I had a few drinks and......borrowed your credit card."
"""Sweating bullets"" is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot."
"DOROTHY: What do these shoes do? GLINDA: Send you home D: Lame [tries new pair] And these? G: Wait- D: [clicks heels] [turns into hamburger]"
"""10 Totally Epic Reasons Why You're Going Straight to Hell"" - 2013 version of Ten Commandments"
"Whenever I look in the mirror I call myself ugly. because it hurts more coming from someone pretty."
"How do you turn tap water into holy water? You boil the HELL out of it! Har har har."
"Guy hears his grand kids are coming for the first time. He gets all the parts and gear, spent six hours child-proofing his home. They still got in."
"How did they cure the swine flu? With oinkment."
"So did you guys hear about the weather in Gotham City? It's cloudy with a chance of Bane."