27727
Joke of the Day
"My wife just walked into a huge spider web. She is now a black belt in karate."
Next Joke
"women's rights"
"Just dropped ranch dressing on my phone then licked it off. So some of you just got to first base with me."
"I joined a 12-step program for people addicted to 12 step programs, Anonymous Anonymous. The 1st step is admitting you don't have a problem."
"Just got bit by a black widow... People are fucking crazy."
"What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? Your job still sucks."
"What do you call an ant sized villain? The *ant*agonist."
"What do Oranges and Apples have in common? They're both orange except for the Apple."
"Illegal immigrants can never get a cold drink. They don't want to be anywhere near ICE."
"[watches you eat my bday cake] ""I've poisoned that."" ""Haha very [clasps chest & begins panting] w-with what?"" [leans in & winks] ""Poison."""