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Joke of the Day

"[watches you eat my bday cake] ""I've poisoned that."" ""Haha very [clasps chest & begins panting] w-with what?"" [leans in & winks] ""Poison."""

"What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile."

"It's so weird to think that nothing before the invention of pics happened."

"Today I asked the Director of Admissions at my University what the best thing about her job was... And she said, ""Well, I gotta admit..."""

"What is the direct competitor for Dungeons and Dragons? Helmets and Spades. Tee hee."

"What do you call something that is big, red, and sucks cock? A big red cocksucker."

"Is #GoHomeIndianMedia really trending? Can we respond with #NoPleaseYouKeepThem or #OkFineWhereElseCanWeSendThem"

"Did you hear about the guy who opened a cheese store in Israel? He called it ""Cheeses of Nazareth""."

"What are goosebumps used for? To keep geese from speeding!"

"What do you call a man trying to conceal his boner? The battle of the buldge."