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Joke of the Day

"Just dropped ranch dressing on my phone then licked it off. So some of you just got to first base with me."

"Why won't Hillary ever pull out? She's never finished screwing people."

"My friend asked me if I was ever going to stop singing Wonderwall... I said maybe."

"I'm going to hell for this but..... *knock knock* Who's there? *9/11* 9/11 who? *you said you'd never forget*"

"Why did the blonde call an exterminator? Her computer had a bug..."

"I locked my keys in my car outside an abortion clinic They get really angry if you go in and ask for a coat hanger"

"What's it like having sex with a wave? Fucking hertz."

"What do you get, if you cross a bad joke with a rhetorical question? ..."

"A joke from my grandfather who is a Indian man in the United States. Him: ""Muslims are going to vote for trump"" Me: ""Really?"" Him: ""Yeah. They want him to stop their parents from visiting constantly"""

"Where's the best place to go if you want a little head? The 2016 Olympics."