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Joke of the Day

"I joined a 12-step program for people addicted to 12 step programs, Anonymous Anonymous. The 1st step is admitting you don't have a problem."

"What's that? ""It's my pet rock."" Why does it look sad? DWAYNE JOHNSON: I'm hungry."

"Jesus wasn't a very good carpenter... I mean... He couldn't remove three nails to save his life."

"""You're more likely to be killed in a car wreck than eaten by a shark."" The shark made a convincing argument, so I got out of the cage."

"The Madame opened up a new sporting-house with an eye to cutting costs. She had all the rooms on one story to cut out the fuckin' overhead."

"Therapist: what's your biggest issue with your husband? Wife: he gives me no privacy Me: [tapping on window from outside] that's not true"

"Katy Perry says that god spoke to her before the Super Bowl and said ""you got this,"" so it's safe to say that god has crappy taste in music."

"What have pancakes and children in commen If they're black, they're ruind"

"Interesting fact about Fight Club Your text post (optional)"

"Deep Thoughts Do you think that, when two police officers are having sex, they appreciate the fact that they are copulating?"