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Joke of the Day

"""Hot damn!"" - the Nazi's probably after their dams were destroyed. I don't know; I'm not a historian. It's just an educated guess."

"""Mom, what does married mean?"" Taking naps together ""Daddy naps with his secretary are they married?"" No, that means he's getting divorced"

"How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them"

"Thanks for sharing your moon with me on Instagram. We don't have a moon where I live."

"The scientists a scientist went to a remote island with a dog in order to teach his speaking. Three years later, the scientist returns, and is asked about his experiment; he replied ""woof, woof, woof"""

"Knock Knock. OPEN UP THE DOOR, ITS REAL WIT THE NON-STOP, POP POP AND STAINLESS STEEL!"

"What did Batman tell Robin before Robin got in the car? ""Hey Robin get in the car""!"

"I ate an optimist once... But I couldn't keep him down."

"Why was Cinderella kicked out of the football team? She ran away from the ball."

"That's a really big gun in your pants. And that's how you get out of a speeding ticket."