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Joke of the Day

"(ROGUE ONE SPOILER) So the nickname... Throughout the movie, you see Galen calls Jyn his stardust, I thought it was pretty cute. I just didn't expect it to be so literal though."

"Algebra,trignometry, and calculus are responsible for more doctors than the actual love for the profession."

"What's the difference between a Jew and Santa Claus? Santa goes down the chimney"

"I do less before 9AM than most people don't do all day."

"I don't play fantasy football, but I do play fantasy friendship. This week I'm starting Taylor Swift and Conan O'Brien."

"I like my Friday nights like I like my jeans high-wasted."

"How do you add up a mountain? You summit."

"Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it."

"i take my gf on a balloon ride to propose. a field of wild flowers spells Women Are Crooks. ""oops sorry."" i apologize. ""that ones for my dad"

"*Caterpillar marriage therapy* Wife: he's not the man I married Husband flying around room: I'm the same on the inside Karen!!!"