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Joke of the Day

"Wifey put some girly glitter soap in the bathroom. This morning I look like I either just came from the strip club, or showered with Ke$ha."

"What workplace benefit do ebola quarantine nurses receive? Hazardous doodie pay!"

"America leads the world in religious people who use 'bless your heart' as an insult."

"Italy in the 2014 FIFA world cup What's the difference between Italy and a tea bag? Ones in a cup"

"Why are notes natural leaders? Because while a note makes a sound, the rest is silent."

"How does Batman's mom call him home for dinner? She doesn't because she's dead."

"Why was the nerd not late for class? ...He booked it."

"Please help reconstruct this joke ... The punchline is ""Well, there's cus-turd, and there's mus-turd, and there's you, ya big shit! Run, Myrtle, run!"""

"Black man kills conservative politician! The final Fox News spin on Osama's death."

"Why are gay guys good helpers when moving? They know how to pack your shit."