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Joke of the Day

"Wifey put some girly glitter soap in the bathroom. This morning I look like I either just came from the strip club, or showered with Ke$ha."

"Give a man a pizza and he eats for a day Teach a man how to make a pizza and he will work minimum wage"

"What do you call a gay drive-by? A fruit rollup"

"I was kicked out of a strip club last night for throwing twenty quid at one of the strippers. Ok, I admit it was in pound coins."

"How does a fallopian tube take its eggs? (Ovaries Z)"

"I don't get Roomba commercials. Like who spills an entire box of cereal on the floor and is like eh leave it for the robot to clean up"

"Dear bed, I'm SO sorry I left you. I don't know what I was thinking. Please take me back."

"have you ever tasted african food? don't worry if you haven't, neither have they"

"There are two pedophiles on a beach... one says to the other ""get out of my son"""

"Can everyone start saying salad is really bad for me so I can start craving it?"