196594

Joke of the Day

"Please help reconstruct this joke ... The punchline is ""Well, there's cus-turd, and there's mus-turd, and there's you, ya big shit! Run, Myrtle, run!"""

"[police lineup] VICTIM: That's him! The dopey fat guy in the middle. COP: We haven't started yet. That's your own reflection in the glass."

"What does R. Kelly tell little girls on Halloween? Urine for a treat!"

"I bet feminists hate pedestrian crossings... What with that red/green man telling them when they can and can't walk."

"Late to bed and late to rise . . . Makes a man who will serve french fries."

"I like the way your medication thinks."

"How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the Jaw."

"Who sings ""Love me tender"" and makes Christmas toys? Santa's little Elvis."

"Please end the Jew jokes. I had a relative that died in a concentration camp. Poor bastard fell right out of the guard tower."

"What did the alcoholic say to the bartender? ""You know, I only beat my wife once in a Blue Moon."