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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend told me all I could think about was sex... Fanny she should say that!"

"My mother asked me to clean the dishes... ""Ah."" I replied, ""The reason you decided to have children; it's becoming apparent."" Also, ITT: God-tier puns."

"What did the squash say to the cucumber when he saw the pumpkin patch get blown up? Oh My Gourd!"

"How did the hipster burn his mouth? HE drank coffee before it was cool, man"

"What did the human torch say before he cooked the beef? **FILET MIGNON!**"

"All refugees are terrorists. (that's the punchline) (No that's actually the punchline)"

"What's worst than finding a worm in an apple? The holocaust"

"I'd rather see a guy with a machete walking towards me than someone with a clipboard."

"A motor gets a job as a waiter... Servo A motor buys a treadmill. Stepper. An artistic motor loses its paint kit. Brushless."

"How many IT support techs does it take to change a lightbulb? ""have you tried turning the light off and back on?"""