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Joke of the Day
"All refugees are terrorists. (that's the punchline) (No that's actually the punchline)"
Next Joke
"My cat's tongue is like a little piece of sandpaper. I'm scratched to hell but this floor is almost finished."
"My girlfriend is a keeper. She's perfect, but I never score."
"Parenting tip: if you beat one child with the other child you can tell people they were just fighting. You're welcome."
"[swipes debit card] *would you like cash back?* yes [gazes at photo in wallet of steve jobs johnny cash & bob hope, whispers] yes i would"
"Theresa nothing worse about a breakup than your ex's name autocompleting whenever you type a word that starts with Theresa same letters"
"Why are hillbilly murders hard to solve Because they all share the same DNA"
"My husband suffers in silence louder than any person I know"
"I quit smoking cold turkey 1 year ago but sometimes I still get the urge to go into fridge and light up a slice"
"Why does Santa always have a big sack? He only comes once a year."